10 Good reasons why I would marry you
and one why I wouldn’t
Introduction and background.
Well, I know its not lady like to suggest marriage, or to propose it to a guy, but then you always did know that I’m not much of a lady and have never been ( Im plain hairy and I cant be bothered with waxing. I mean, give me one good reason I should hurt my skin to be more acceptable to the opposite sex.)
Further- when I say "marry " I don’t really mean the whole lace and bouquets and flower-girls rigmarole, and signing silly documents which have no real substance. In fact it has never failed to amaze me that the marriage contract is the only paper humans continue to sign which has absolutely no explicit terms, heck even my three month room rental is clearer on what responsibilities and benefits are but this signing on a dotted line with nothing else near it, its plain dumb if you ask me! Particularly when there are no real ways to enforce it .
And then just look at the disservice you do to society, inviting hundreds of people, making them waste lots of time preparing, shopping for tuxedos or matching sari blouse material and out fits for the kids who can only wear it one day anyway- they all have to come to a dead boring hotel lunch (and the more expensive the hotel the more confusing the food tastes), listen to deafening music , and throw confetti at the couple, only to be told about three years down the line that it didn’t work out and all that time they wasted was REALLY useless- simply gross; I have been there, done that and all I can remember was that the hem of my sari was getting tangled in my high heels, which was horribly nerve wracking. Not to mention having to kiss hundreds of painted perfumed sweaty women I don’t know. Bleah.
No I don’t really mean that, nice and fairy tale thought it sounds.
What I actually mean is that I would like to be officially, your partner in crime.
Now to substantiate my proposal, I have a couple of good old fashioned and ancient "wise sayings" on my side:
1. Do not marry a person you can live with; Marry someone you cannot live without.".
( I guess that means , someone you just cant bear to be separate from and will never forget as long as you live; if so that would be you)
2. Marry someone you like talking to
(which probably means when all those hormones fade and sex becomes repetitious and dead boring you will still be able to keep each other entertained. Makes sense.)
3. Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget
Im just suggesting that we could make each other smile, we could be there for each other and we could possibly make life happier for each other. Nothing more complicated.
I’ve also backing this up with ten good reasons why I think I can actually stand knowing you , so as you see I have done my background work quite thoroughly.
1. You keep smiling most of the time
2. You are kind to animals
3. You talk about my children. and yours; a lot.
4. You’re funny and you make me smile.
5. You’re not insanely jealous when I talk about other cute guys and old flames.
6. You read what I write (possibly more than anyone else does except my mother)
7. I’m comfortable with you even when we don’t talk.
8. You’re talented and you know what you’re doing
9. Youre quaintly old fashioned although you deny it.
10. You’re spiritual although you try to hide it.
11. You drive decently even when you’re angry.
12. You read. Let me reiterate here, its not easy to find a bloke who reads beyond car magazines, sports highlights and the stock market news. But you read Tintin…
13. You are romantic although you try not to show it. Odd, but I have noticed.
14. You talk about your old flames in a nice way without resenting them.
15. You smell good and you’re cuddly and huggable.
16. You have the best communications skills I have ever seen in almost any guy.
17. You like the same books, music , movies and entertainment crap that I do
18. You don’t pee on the roadside or walk about shirtless, scratching your chest or worse. Even though you’re Sri Lankan!!
19. You sound sexy in the dark. Seriously, ok in daylight too - you have a wonderful way of talking.
20.And finally you’re hygienic; and did I go beyond the ten reasons? I do apologize.
We allow that there are the challenges involved in knowing you so I have weighed them against the pros.
1. You like arguing and you keep grudges for yonks!
2. You don’t show that you love the ones you’re with which I think is immature.
3. You’re bigoted, racist and very rude to some people.
4. You’re a show off, a down right shocking exhibitionist, and snob! Sometimes that gets tedious for anyone near you.
5. You’re plain unstable, as you yourself admit.
6. When you hurt someone, you hurt them very, very bad.
Finally the number one reason I think I should go and boil my head for even suggesting such a thing…
7. Sometimes getting involved is the best way to lose someone
Weighing everything, and notwithstanding my obvious inability to count properly, I somehow think things won’t be that bad. I would actually love to grow old talking with you, to wake up to your hugs, to fall asleep to your snores, to save you from nightmares, and save myself from loneliness, and no this is not something I thought up on the spur of the moment, is it? I have had years to love you, years to hate you, a month to forgive you and perhaps, perhaps just maybe a life time to endure you, which I gladly will either way.
So what will it be?
Authors Note: The author currently makes a living writing project proposals for third sector organizations. This is her first attempt at writing a personal proposal and – hopefully, for everyone’s sake, her last.